Living MY Life Fully Means…

…means what exactly?

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself that question?  It’s not about “being happy.”  Although some would argue that it is akin to
being happy.

Living life fully is different for every single one of us.  It’s about living our values.  It’s about making choices in every moment of
the day that is in line with those values.  When the choices you make throughout the day are more in line with your values than not, you can truthfully say you were better today than yesterday.

You can definitely tell when you are NOT living your values.  You feel it in your body.  It could be a nagging pit in your stomach, a
niggling feeling in the back of your head, or a general feeling of irritation.  Instead of asking yourself, “Why do I feel like this,” or instead of chalking it up to “I am just unhappy,” ask yourself, “Which of my values am I not honoring?”

Living your values isn’t a cake walk.  Doing so means you may create friction in some areas of your life…especially areas where others are used to you living their values – not yours.  Maybe you’ve just been going with the path of least resistance because it was easier.  But there is a cost…a great cost… to your own sense of well-being.  The anxiety and stress created by NOT living your values is immense.

Getting clarification around values and then living those values can be challenging.  Coaching can help you find that clarification.  If you
want to know more about how coaching can help, check out my website, call me, or explore the International Coach Federation.

Twist on Self Esteem

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them — every day begin the task anew. ~Saint Francis de Sales

I like this quote because the words “self-esteem” are nowhere to be found, even though, this quote is all about self esteem.

How often do you ‘consider your own imperfections’? How many times a day do you berate yourself for something? How often have you said to someone else, “I have such low self-esteem” or “I need to improve myself esteem”?

Like a lot of people, you probably believe that there is some magic self-esteem level out there and if you just get to that level, you will finally be happy or people will treat you better.

This quote tells us that is not the case. St. Francis de Sales tells us that self-esteem is a journey (‘every day begin the task anew’’), it is not a destination. He tells us to not wallow in our mistakes, our poor choices, our moodiness, etc, rather ‘set about remedying them’.

If you are ready to get unstuck, I can probably help. If counseling isn’t the avenue you want to pursue, personal coaching may be the ticket. Call 253.651.3377 to talk about how coaching can fit your desire for change.

Guilty

I am guilty of doing exactly what I tell others NOT to do.  I am not too happy about having to admit it, either.  What is it that I am guilty of?  Let me set the stage first, before the confession…

People come to me to find a way to feel better, to communicate better and to decrease anxiety and depression.  They come to me to increase satisfaction with themselves, their lives and their relationships.  They ask for help to make change happen in their lives.

I attended a continuing education seminar a couple of years ago and listened to Michael Yapko, PhD talk about ways to help depressed clients.  He echoed a sentiment that I have heard from others: Don’t wait until you feel like doing something to do it.  Just do it and feeling it will follow. 

Clients say to me, “I have no motivation. I just don’t feel like doing it.”  ‘It’ is usually something that, after it gets done, helps clients feel better.  Like exercising, calling a friend, doing the dishes or completing a work project.

So, my big confession… (not even worthy of a drum roll):  I didn’t feel like writing my blog(s) so I didn’t.  Doh!!!!  Now that I am finally sitting at my keyboard, I realize that if I had just kept writing, maybe I would have written something that would have helped someone, maybe I would have gotten a couple of people reading my blog and maybe subscribing to it.  But that didn’t happen.  I realize now that if I had just kept writing – even on days I didn’t feel like it – then, I would feel less guilty and less down on myself.

I know from experience that if I wait to do something until I feel like it… it’s not going to get done and I am going to feel crappy.  So, avoid feeling like crap, avoid the self-guilt and like the Nike slogan says: 

Just Do It.